Sunday, July 13, 2008

If I weren't an actuary...

I often wonder what I'd be if I weren't a mathmagician.

I've narrowed it down to 5 occupations

5) Horticulturist. I already know all about mowing grass and once, after nearly killing my ficus tree - seriously it was down to 1 leaf - I grew it 'til it was almost 6 feet tall. I named my tree Adam. If you want to know why, you'll have to come back to Classic Anecdotes again. Oh, my dumb cat killed it when she peed on it. I killed euthanized her.

4) Author. Not like big books. But like children's stories. Pickles the Dragon is a classic example. Pickles cooks all the pizza at the big festival.

3) Action Movie Star. Beneath these boyish good looks, easy going attitude and 30 lbs of flab is a bad-ass. Ask that dumb cat. That's right, she's dead. 'Nuff said.

2) Accountant. This would have never worked. I couldn't handle being made fun of by the actuaries.

1) Christian Rock Star. This may still happen. I am looking for an agent, some other guys to join in, and some talent.

Luckily, the world knows me as an actuary where I can bless the world as *"a person who calculates insurance and annuity premiums, reserves, and dividends."

* Special thanks to m-w.com for that definition

8 comments:

Rebekah said...

Thank goodness you are a mathemagician, though. If not, who would calculate the % off at Kohl's for me?

Leesa said...

I do happen to know a good drummer... I'm fairly certain you could convince him to leave his current calling as market research business owner. :)

Sarah said...

Sorry Leesa...Jeremy drums as well. Brian and Jeremy would have to have a drum off to see who could drum the best!

Chris...I cannot wait for your Adam blog posting.

pink is the new black said...

yeah, poor cat...Millie? Mollie? Whatever, she's dead and in my opinion, is the best place for all cats to be (with the exception of the roaring lion, emphasis on roaring we saw today at the zoo)...as for your careers, sorry dude, still nerdy but I still love ya

KJ Druyvesteyn said...

You mean, like your own Christian New Kids on the Block band? That would be SWEET!

Leesa said...

Sarah, tell Jer to bring his chops. :) Brian mentioned that with him, you get the drummer with the added bonus of a pyrotechnician thrown in for good measure. You do know why DHS hasn't had a talent show since his sophomore year, don't you? :)

Sarah said...

Leesa, I think I was in seventh grade when he was a sophomore...so I didn't even know they used to have a talent show at all!! I would love to hear that story...perhaps an upcoming blog for you?? Please insert pics of Brian from high school drumming as well. That would be sweet...and by sweet I mean awesome.

Jeremy said...

Chris, I think you could be a very good Christian rock star. The world needs another Carman.